I am so excited. 50 more days till I fly to Osaka!

I had to reshuffle my itinerary today! Decided to stay the weekend in Kyoto so that I can attend the sunday class as well and dance on sat. Also, to my pleasant surprise there is a workshop on 8th dec! Yay. Hahaha... so I reshuffled everything too. Everything is more or less settled. I just need to check the pending airbnv reservation for kyoto. ^_^ buy indoor shoes for dance and classes. Make reservations for kichi kichi. ^_^ change more money. ^_^

Pick up the amazing osaka pass when I land. And yeaps. Pretty much set for this trip.

Been sick these two days. Allergies. Grateful for the time to rest. Tomorrow gonna head for training and 2d 1n retreat.

2 weeks to danil workshop.

I just cannot wait for Dec to come!!

Crazy packed holiday of training and dancing. But I am so excited.

“Anxiety is terrible, you could be having an attack and no one would even know, because it's an inward thing. It feels like you're malfunctioning and you can't process your own thoughts. You get a knot in your stomach and you can't take a full breath, but outwardly you can literally just sit there and look completely normal, as long as no one tries to speak to you."

I used to be so imprisoned by anxiety. But over the year I feel myself riding the waves and conquering it.

Anxiety never truly goes away. Sometimes it pokes it's ugly head out and whispers untruth and lies. But you gotta be strong enough to not let it bother you and that you are who you are. A child of God and he loves you for who you are and that you should love yourself too. It also helps when you have great close friends who you can text saying. Hey I am struggling. My mind is thinking this. It helps when they love you through it and you love yourself through it.

[2 Timothy 1:7] For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.

Im doing well. I will be okay.

I think of disappearing all the time. Why? Cause I wonder would anyone want to look for me? Would anybody find me? Am I worth looking for?

There are days where you are doing so well and suddenly the insecurities hit you hard, the jealousy of hey why can't I look as good as her comes snaking into my mind. I see progress but when will it ever be enough? How can I just love myself for me?

What should I do? I feel like I am a prisoner of my own mind.