Going for the annual Christmas gatherings, it really sucks to hear hey you lost weight you look pretty now. Was I not pretty before? Whose standard of beauty are you imposing on me? It really sucks because wanting to lose weight should not be because you wanna look prettier, hotter but because you wanna feel better in terms of health, you wanna sleep better, your body is fitter. The best compliment you can give someone is you look happier. You look healthier.

You should push and pull at the same time. Keep body. Relax. Keep tension at point of contact but relax everything else. Keep yo vision wide. Dont get tunnel vision it causes tension. Tackle the tension within yourself first before you try to do anything.

It is funny how much Japan feels like home to me that I dont have any home sickness and that is a first considering how sometimes I wish I could go home. Maybe that was due to my anxiety in the past.

This trip has made me realise a lot of things. I have become stronger mentally. I don't let myself get stressed out and I can feel it before the anxiety creeps in and I curb it.

I learnt it is okay not to have a plan and just go with the flow. Like I really struggle with that even during trainings it is like I want to do this this this to that person. But actually the best movements are the one that the body tells you to do and the ones that comes naturally.

I learnt it is okay to rest and take a break. On Thursday I was so tired I just went back at 3pm and laid in bed and did nothing before training. But that was what my body needed.

I also learnt that best things are felt not described.

I see myself change in the things I buy. I no longer crave and mass buy junk food anymore or hoard Japanese junk food to bring back.

I am very impressed at the way I managed my money this trip. Hopefully the last 3 days I will keep it up! ^_^ I am also lucky Japan's food is really affordable too.

My mindset has changed so much since I got to Japan. Especially for strikes. I took away the real essence of systema. It is not to hurt others but to relax them and take away the aggression. That was a huge shift for me. Also, when someone does something to me it creates tension within my body. So when I deal with that tension naturally the body will show you where to move. Also about keeping the body and keeping the tension at the area of contact but relax the rest of the body and keep form.