Beloved

Pain

Wednesday, January 10, 2024 @ 10:50 AM

God can transform your pain into joy.

He turns your weeping into laughing.

Mourning into dancing.

God turns pain into purpose through the stories that we could tell. And the stories that will be told. The stories that are helping others.

If we cannot find a way to make our wounds into sacred wounds, we invariably become cynical, negative, or bitter. This is the storyline of many of the greatest novels, myths, and stories of every culture. If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it—usually to those closest to us: our family, our neighbors, our co-workers, and, invariably, the most vulnerable, our children.

Scapegoating, exporting our unresolved hurt, is the most common storyline of human history. The Jesus Story is about radically transforming history and individuals so that we don’t just keep handing on the pain to the next generation. Unless we can find a meaning for human suffering, that God is somehow in it and can also use it for good, humanity is in major trouble. Because we will suffer. Even the Buddha said that suffering is part of the deal!

We shouldn’t try to get rid of our own pain until we’ve learned what it has to teach. When we can hold our pain consciously and trustfully (and not project it elsewhere), we find ourselves in a very special liminal space. Here we are open to learning and breaking through to a much deeper level of faith and consciousness. Please trust me on this. We must all carry the cross of our own reality until God transforms us through it. These are the wounded healers of the world, and healers who have fully faced their wounds are the only ones who heal anyone else.

Unfortunately, our natural instinct is to try to fix pain, to control it, or even, foolishly, to try to understand it. The ego insists on understanding. That’s why Jesus praises a certain quality even more than love, and he calls it faith. It is the ability to stand in liminal space, to stand on the threshold, to hold the contraries, until we are moved by grace to a much deeper level and a much larger frame, where our private pain is not center stage but a mystery shared with every act of bloodshed and every tear wept since the beginning of time. Our pain is not just our own.

i have grown

Wednesday, January 3, 2024 @ 8:04 PM

Was reading the book "The inner voice of love." And I felt God's presence through the whole process and I feel so renewed in thinking.

Think Lust and possession was something I always struggled with but i think once during confession quite a while back and the priest hit the nail on the head. I was indeed very lonely.

There is a deep hole in my heart and I just fleeing from it. I recognise now that in the past I been trying to make people proud of me being dependent on others to give me an identity.

I often overlook or fail to recognise love that had been offered to me. I often discard it because I am fixed on receiving it from the same person I gave it to.

I recognise that God has given me a beautiful self and God loves me very much and in the same way I must try to recognise the same love in others even when it is very difficult.

I took away from the book that A seed only flourishes by staying in the ground that is sown. I AM A SEED planted in rich soil and I have to trust the process.

I have stopped comparing myself to others. looking back rejection or judgement from others: It did not make me any less of a person but I had compared myself and felt very small.

I recognise now that hey I am me and though I didn't meet their expectations and it doesn't make me any less of a person.

I think I can tell my story today from a place without letting it dominate me and has lost its weight on me.

I do not have to fear anyone as long as I am deeply and safely anchored among my community.

I see myself as PRECIOUS and answering the of being a child of God is recognising that God has entered deeply into my being and offer much of God to others. Instead of putting myself down I know recognise the good within me and Im starting to see the truth of who I am.

And I was reflecting on the areas I needed to grow in too and to trust in the process of healing, growing and walking in love.

I guess I am affected after all.

Tuesday, January 2, 2024 @ 11:49 PM

A realisation. Tmr's test has brought about tensions I could not differentiate or recognise after all.