2024
Sunday, December 31, 2023 @ 5:08 PM
May I grow to be a better person.
May I grow in humility, kindness and love for others.
May I grow in confidence of my self worth.
May I be healthy.
Spent time in ado today...
Saturday, December 30, 2023 @ 12:11 AM
And I had a good time with God my Father.
Today take aways from training.
Friday, December 29, 2023 @ 4:42 AM
Step 1 2 3 4 5.
E.g 1 take the body. 2 add this.. 3 add that 4 and 5 add direction...
But Literally u have taken stuff in the first step. Dont take the same thing. Evaluate what you have already taken.
Can even be an internal shift.
Can even be a collective of 1 2 3 4 in 1 or 1 2 3 4 5 in 1.
You can also do it with 1 hand. Or 2 hands. Or inside.
I am afraid of falling in love.
@ 4:40 AM
I grew up with many women in my family suffering from marriage. Be it a divorce, unfaithful husbands, abusive husbands. I see their pain daily, I see the aftermath. At the same time I see people with loving God centered marriages.
Why am I so afraid of falling in love? When wintermelon and Pancake died. It hurt so much. I cannot imagine losing a human.
Am I afraid of reading the signs wrong? I am. I have. My first crush chatted with me till 5am everynight and walked me home after weekday masses but it wasn't mutual.
What if I am not enough? My bad habits, my snoring, my struggle with food and being a healthy weight, my health issues. What about my bad parts? What about my struggles and my worries?
What about the responsibilities that come with this?
What if we believe in different things spiritually? What if we are of different faith?
어떻게?
Pre-training Anxiety.
@ 4:28 AM
Been struggling a lot with this... but I have managed to show up anyway except for a few times when other anxiety stuff happened inconjuncture with this.
A lot of this stems from a lot of self doubt and also pride... Also a lack of self belief that I can do it. Thank you for sticking in with there with me training partners...
I WILL JUST KEEP TURNING UP AND THATS ALRDY PROGRESS.
Rest in peace Pancake
Friday, December 15, 2023 @ 12:09 AM
Another hamster sized hole
Thursday, December 14, 2023 @ 11:38 PM
Thank you Pancake. You have left a hamster sized hole in my heart.
Pancake's not well
@ 12:00 AM
Pancake's not well
Desire for a heartmate.
Sunday, December 3, 2023 @ 10:01 PM
The desire for a heartmate is so strong but at the same time. I am so afraid of being abandoned or being vulnerable.
